I feel like this is my year! I know... lots of people probably say that, and maybe a few of them mean it, but I'm feeling really good about this fresh start.
I'm not usually one to make New Year's resolutions, or get into the idea that a new year means anything will change, really. I often feel the most inspired for new beginnings once September rolls around (left over from school and college, probably). But this year I made some basic resolutions for myself that I am excited to keep. I'm not just saying "this year I'm going to join the gym!", because, yes, maybe I did just talk to a friend tonight about maybe looking into joining the gym down the street, but I know myself, and joining a gym and actually going are two separate things. And I'm not going to make an official resolution of it. I can't put that much pressure on myself to work out. I don't work (out) that way. Har har.
Okay, I'm rambling. Basically, my number one resolution this year is to be more positive. I know this seems like a really simple concept, but I have had a particularly tough few months, and things that I can usually brush off have been weighing on me greatly (causing too many melt downs and outbursts of anger and frustration).
But, it's a New Year. (I literally just took a deep breath and let it out slow right there.)
I am taking this as an opportunity to stop and think about my reactions to things that happen to myself and those around me. To think about what is happening in the moment, what is making me upset. To think about what actually affects me in my day to day life. What I actually have control over. I need to think about these things and find a way to process my emotions and focus on something positive in my own life. I know a lot of this doesn't make much sense to any of you because I am leaving out a lot of details. But it makes sense to me. And so far... I think it's working.
Of course it's not this easy over-night thing. But at least I'm trying to put myself first. That sounds selfish, but if you know me at all, you know that I am constantly taking on more than I can handle (lately this has been mostly emotional). I am focusing my energy now on continuing to be a good listener, and be supportive, while also staying focused on my own life, things that I have control over. I am focusing on all the love and support I have in my life, instead of the lack-there-of in the lives of others. That's what ends up getting to me the most - people being taken advantage of and used. People I care about not getting the support and unconditional love they deserve.
It's funny, I didn't even come here to talk about this! I just wanted to share a couple new things I've been working on that I'm excited about, and found myself taking and talking. I guess my new positive outlook and having the energy to get back in the studio and work on new projects goes hand in hand though....
I finished my first wedding bird order of the new year yesterday and it felt really great. I put lots of good energy into these birds :) I also got caught up on way over-due email inquiries. (Nothing feels better than clearing out that inbox!) Tonight I got an email from an old college friend about possibly trading some home-canned goods for a pair of wedding birds and I really like this idea!
I feel like I'm kind of jumping all over the place tonight in this post, but I can't seem to help it. It's late and I'm tired, and there's so much I want to say and talk about. But I can't seem to fully focus. Sorry! But it's snowing outside! I didn't mention that yet - it's snowing and it's so beautiful I kind of hope it never stops!
Before I end this rambling post, I want to share a new project I started last week with four good friends. Inspired by 3191 miles apart (probably one of my favorite places ever) and the Habit blog, I invited four friends who all live in Massachusetts (two here in Western Ma with me, and two on the North Shore) to share one photo every week for a full year.
I've been wanting to do a year long project for a very long time now, but I've never gotten my act together at the beginning of the year before. This project is super simple. Just one photo from each of us, each week. It's just for us, really. Just to get a little glimpse into each others lives every week. Even though we're all close and talk often, it's too easy for a week, two weeks, three weeks to go by, sometimes with out speaking at all. I absolutely understand that every one gets busy, so here we can share something with each other consistently without needing words at all.
We have one post up so far (the above photo is my submission for last week - the only time I'll post one of those photos here), and I am so anxious and excited to see all the images that will follow. I can't wait for this Tuesday (new posts go up every Tuesday before noon). Go see for yourself if you'd like: By Mountain and Sea.
This project is the first of many I plan to do this year that is purely for the sake of being creative and sharing. It's too easy when you make a living off of your creations to get caught up in the idea that everything you make must be for sale, that you must only make things to sell them. I want to move away from that this year. Yes, we all need money, and I absolutely cannot afford to just start giving stuff away. But, you know what... I'm just accepting the fact that I may always be some form of broke. Nothing has changed that in the past few years, so why not take a little time out every week to create something nice just for the sake of creating something nice. 2011: this is my year.